Resolutions or Goals?

Dr. F. here. We hear a lot about New Year’s resolutions every year, and this year—the start of 2010!—has been no different. I actually think resolutions have become akin to talk about the weather; maybe it’s just something we do when we’re simply making conversation. For example, when I went to the gym this morning, the front desk attendant, with whom I’m fairly well-acquainted, asked me what my resolutions were. I told him I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. And he said, “Why not??” Not really wanting any deeper conversation, as I was chomping at the bit to work out, I simply said, “I just don’t,” but asked him, “What are yours?” He laughed and said, “I don’t really make them either.” See? Just like the weather: he was just making conversation.

In truth, I actually know of a fair number of people who really do make New Year’s resolutions. But, how many people do you know who actually stick to them? It’s a big topic at the start of a new year, but I’ve never talked to a single individual in my entire life who told me, “I just finished the year having met my New Year’s resolutions!”

I think the reason people like to make resolutions, or at the very least, talk about making them, is that they represent hope—hope, maybe, that this year will be better than the last. It reminds me of the scene in Forrest Gump where Forrest and Lt. Dan meet up with two girls in a bar and they watch the ball drop, and one of the girls says, rather dreamily, “Don’t you just love New Year’s? You get a chance to start all over again. Everybody gets a second chance.” I think that hope for something better, or something different, is very powerful. And I think that hope is a wonderful human trait; it’s why we keep trying.

But…I pose a question that explains why I, myself, do not make New Year’s resolutions: Why must we wait for the start of a new year to resolve to make something in our life better?

I have a theory about the answer to this question. I think it’s because resolutions are very easy things to say, but the truth is most people don’t set themselves up to be successful; most people don’t know how to create a resolution in the form of a real, attainable goal. It just sounds easier to “make a resolution” than it does to “meet a goal,” doesn’t it? Ironically, it’s exactly the opposite! It’s much easier to meet a goal because a goal, if done properly, sets you up for success. Marshall Goldsmith, a respected leadership consultant, notes that effective goal-setting is critical to long-term goal attainment. You cannot have the latter without the former. Simply making a resolution is not an effective way to reach a goal. He offers some unique insights about the importance of goals and how great coaches can help people reach those goals in this article: Goldsmith Article

Emu Consulting teaches goal-setting skills in our seminars, or through one-on-one personalized coaching. If you are interested in making a real change—now or at the new year!—contact us. We’d be honored to be part of a positive impact on your life. For now, I leave you with this idea (which I fully admit borrowing from Bill Phillips, founder of EAS): If you’re still trying, you have not failed. So keep trying, and reach those goals!